there’s a lot to say. i’ve been through a week or two where motivation has gone the way of sunlight on a cold spring day…..
\nit seems i don’t, at the moment, really _want_ anything. work is still fun, while i’m at it. i enjoy it, there’s a bit of a challenge there. signe is still, without a doubt, the love of my life. my friends are probably closer to me than they have ever been before. i’m making great money doing what i enjoy. i’m of for a month to mexico in about two months time. yet nothing seems to be serious. i haven’t read a good book in months, it seems. my heart hasn’t been looking for a cause in a long time either. <\/p>\n
what it is, i don’t really know. it feels like more than a fleeting moment, but less than a permanency. the whole start-up idea. something i really believed in, and most definitely was ready to try, has become an ocean of storming doubts. in a period of waning motivation and nagging doubts about the essence of my life, the prospect of commitment isn’t exactly inviting. work, as a temporary means of income, with the easy way out option that is employment, is so much more accomodating of a spirited mind.<\/p>\n
on the other hand, i still fear sitting around in 2 years time thinking, damn i should have tried.
\ni really don’t know. at the moment, i seem to be the least confused and the most content, when I work the 40 hour week, and try to spend time with my great friends.
\nmaybe it’s just a passing moment, that the commitment, and the will to change the world, has left me. been replaced by a cynics view of an immutable, and less than ideal reality, floating by my eyelids, while i, along with the rest of the world, do my best to ignore the world at whole. living in an enclosed circle of permanent worry-free wandering from succes to succes, from hour to hour, refusing only to take a position, to make demands, to step out of the circle, for fear that one step outside that fleeting universe of dreams, would make it all collapse…..<\/p>\n
maybe that’s it, maybe not. as i mentioned earlier, i’m ever so slightly confused, dazed, surreally stroking about in the languishing spring sun, trying to find a purchase with my feet…..<\/p>\n
WOW, i’ts about time i land again on mother earth, and realize there’s more to life than the lazy duck pond that is my day \ud83d\ude42<\/p>\n
And everyone out there don’t worry, it’s not as bad as it may sound. I’m happy. In love with Signe, smiling the days away. I’m happy with my little enclosed duck-pond, but miss the ability to look over the wall!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
there’s a lot to say. i’ve been through a week or two where motivation has gone the way of sunlight on a cold spring day….. it seems i don’t, at the moment, really _want_ anything. work is still fun, while i’m at it. i enjoy it, there’s a bit of a challenge there. signe is […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"spay_email":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_is_tweetstorm":false,"jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true},"categories":[7,1],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n